First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes.....

I am 6 weeks pregnant and very excited...and surprise surprise very nervous. Since I barely dare to walk I think I have only ran once since I found out. I feel like I'm an apple tree and if I run it's going to shake little "lentil bean" free. mmm I know it won't happen but I am scared to death to lose this little bugger. See, back story to this...we had a miscarriage in February and it kind of shattered me for a little bit. Darby had been bugging us, more specifically me for a baby, and preferably a baby sister. She asked for one for Christmas but no luck, but little did she know it was made on Christmas! Overshare? Sorry. Anyway, we went for my 9 week appointment but there was no heartbeat and the baby was only measuring at 6 weeks. :( Broke my heart! I had no clue and the thought had never crossed my mind. I never thought something so small and that I had never met before could break my heart so bad, but I loved that little baby from the start.  I cursed every person that got pregnant without even trying, had an abortion or any high schooler that accidentally got pregnant.  I did everything "right" that I am supposed to. I waited until I was married, settled, and ready for a baby. Took prenatal vitamins and I didn't drink an ounce of coffee after I found out. I did everything I was supposed to! It was just very unfair and heartbreaking, but I guess that's life. Everything happens for a reason right? I have always believed that; that God has a plan, but it was really hard to comprehend this time. I'm a pretty private person, though this blog may suggest otherwise, so I didn't tell anyone at the time. I needed to get through this and figure out what was going on with me. Wrap my head and heart around it. I didn't want people asking me how I was all the time. I hate that shit. When I was ready to talk about it I would. Anyway, here we are again and I am hoping little baby wants to stick around this time. Mitch is skeptical, which I get after last time, but excited none-the-less. So at exactly 6 weeks, 2 days after a nice 4 mile run I started spotting and the onset of EXTREME worrying set in since that's when baby #1 peaced out before. An ultrasound and 2 things of blood-work later I am happy to report that I am on the path to a healthy pregnancy. *phew!* Deep down I have known that I wanted a baby I am just naturally nervous and scared of what it will entail and what kind of mom I will be to someone full-time. I tear up every time I think of holding my baby or last night listening to Carrie Underwood's 'Jesus Take The Wheel' when she says "She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock." I can't wait to look in my backseat and see my little baby! Okay. To wrap this up I am unofficially due January 28th, 2014. So hopefully I make it through Regionals and possibly States before baby Donar arrives.....because you know that's my cheering season. haha So there it is! Yey!